Friday, January 14, 2011

Consider Him... So that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (Heb. 12:1-3)

The last few weeks have been really hard with Ansley. As we have said so many times on our blog, we feel like we are running a race that makes a marathon look like a sprint. We often are spurred on and encouraged and pray hard for Ansley, but growing weary and losing steam as we try to persevere is difficult. There are times that we just feel overwhelmed by how much is stacked against her. We have seen mountains crumble and fall into the sea (feeding tube, curved tibia, high tone...), but each bend in the trail seems to reveal new obstacles and new mountains to attack with prayer. We still believe and trust, but just feel weary. Here is what we are up against:

- Ansley's eyes are getting better (praise God), but we will have to get glasses. She has peripheral blind spots, an underdeveloped section of her eyeball, drifting gaze, and has astigmatism. Her follow up evaluation next month will reveal more information.

- Ansley has been recommended to add weekly physical therapy sessions because she is having trouble with overall body balance and is showing stiffness in her hips.

- Ansley is still in weekly occupational therapy sessions to work on fine motor skills. She is doing well here, but is still a little behind.

- Ansley has just started weekly speech therapy sessions to work on her language. We are seeing her vocabulary increase but she still has not jumped the gap from "approximations" to "articulation" (going from "mamamamama" to "Mommie") with any consistency. We have yet to see her language explode and take off the ground. This is the most important cognitive development for her right now.

- Ansley also meets with her developmental specialist weekly. She is doing well, but still is showing delays in several areas.

As you can see, we often feel as if we are surrounded by obstacles (and therapy sessions! Now 4x weekly). It is hard to stay focused day in and day out--session after session--appointment after appointment. We haven't given up, we haven't lost hope, we are just so incredibly tired (physically, emotionally, and spiritually.) We still trust God, and we still feel called to pray boldly and pray God's word over her. We know that this is the "race marked out for us." But we are weary of this constant fight. Especially Jordan. She goes through all the therapy sessions while I am at work. We ask that you pray for each of these items--that God would answer "quickly" (Luke 18:7-8). And pray for us to "fix our eyes on that we will not grow weary and lose heart." (Heb.12:1-3) Also pray for us to have the wisdom and time to escape from the world of developmental therapy and just have some fun with our beautiful little girl.


Kat said...

Praying for y'all! I'm constantly amazed at your updates and also (not to be creepy) but you and Ansley were totally in my dream last night. It was at a church nursery or something...that's all I remember because I had a Griffin fall out of his bed about then. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of y'all :)

The McBs said...

We are praying. Praying Jesus is so real in your home that you can't help but fix your eyes on HIM!! Praying for rest and renewed strength.